


The Bold and the... Less Bold

by dragongoats



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Anxiety, Gender Identity, Gender Issues, Nonbinary Character, Other, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 08:51:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10716174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragongoats/pseuds/dragongoats
Summary: Non-binary Ryder is a bit smitten by Reyes and doesn't know quite how to handle it... or relationships. Kisses and fighting.





	The Bold and the... Less Bold

The pulsing console lights reflected gently along the window panes of The Pathfinder's quarters. Pacing at his desk for the past hour Ryder debated between responding or ignoring the email notification. He's been biting his lip again, a nervous habit that started upon returning from Kadara.

_Reyes._

There was a team meeting planned and he felt a pressing need to make a decision soon, but he felt trapped. Would obligation, anxiety, or emotion win out? He wasn't sure. Catching the light in a nearby mirror, he paused to scrutinize his reflection and fix his hair. The blue and pink light obscured part of his face, dividing him in a soft multi-coloured glow. The cool, blue refined facial hair, the pink tinted fullness of his lips, the vivid eyeliner. _What do other people see? What does Reyes see?_ Muscular shoulders and jaw, warm, dark brown eyes and skin; a kind, light-hearted but assertive demeanour… _but beneath that?_   Sometimes he just feels exhausted trying to make them understand; he doesn't fit in either _box_.

_But I really do care that Reyes sees me for me._

The light pulsed incessantly. Ryder's eyes flicked over to the beckoning blinking light of his email terminal. His reflection took a step towards the console then hesitated. Frowning, Ryder lightly touched the worried corner of his full lips, recalling the heat and closeness of Reyes. The playful smiles and  idle flirtations seemed to be simmering into something sharper, sweeter. Morphing Into an acute and inexplicable desire to pull him close, to care.

_But I'm the pathfinder._

The disapproving looks of his team and Nexus leadership combined with the hopeful faces of colonists made him look away.

The light pulsed steadily on.

///

"We NEED to go to Kadara!" Peebee's insistence rang clear throughout the meeting room above the buzz of raised voices and conflicting opinions.

_Oh boy._

As Ryder stepped up the stairs, muttering apologies for his lateness, Cora looked directly at him. She crossed her arms and leaned back, stating firmly, "Ryder, we should be looking for arcs, not treasure hunting."

"That's not up to you--" Vetra sounded exasperated. They all did.

Jaal's voice fought to be heard over the room full of warring voices, "surely the Angara would be grateful for any advantage against the Kett…"

As Ryder approached the table everyone stopped, staring at him. The room became suddenly very still and silent. Ryder's ears rang in the void while images of Reyes flashed through his mind unwarranted, his face flushing. His mouth decided on its own, anticipation barely masked, "what's this about Kadara?"

///

Ryder barely registered the descent to Kadara port. Nor the ride to the slums and the trek up to the club and Reyes' backroom. He let himself be guided by his teammates who shared more than a few mildly concerned glances but let him be. They were searching for a relic, possibly Angaran, in Remnant ruins, for defence or Peebee's curiosity, he wasn't too clear on the specifics. His mind had gone blank from anxiety or nerves, body running on autopilot.

"..So we're looking for ruins, you want to ask Reyes?" Peebee questioned Ryder as they had stopped at the closed precipice of his room, her head popping around into his field of vision.  When he didn't respond, Peebee lowered her brows and asked  in an uncharacteristically serious, hushed voice, "hey, Ryder. You ok? You didn't stand in that toxic water did you, because that… would be bad."

"Uh… erm yes. Sorry Peebee, what did you ask?" At Peebee's raised eyebrows, Ryder's tunnel vision faded, he recalled why they were there. "We're here to ask about ruin locations right? Right. I can do this… right…" Ryder's voice trailed off.

"Wow. Ryder did you forget to sleep last night?"

"I'm good. Just… no I'm fine, I'll meet you down at the bar when I'm done."

///

The room was dimly lit but warm. Reyes was lounging like a satisfied cat on a worn leather couch, hair and clothes somehow impeccable despite being in 'the slums'. Ryder was captivated. He attempted to form words but the inexplicable giddy feeling welling in his stomach rendered him speechless. A bartender passed Ryder on his way out, the smug rogue called to him, "bring me another water for my friend here-- a delicacy!" He flashed Ryder a wink.

The distraction let Ryder fall back into the easy confident banter that was so familiar, the fog of his mind lifting almost immediately. He responded with a flirtatious grin, "hmm, is the water the delicacy or I am?"

A low chuckle emanated from Reyes, his voice a purr. "Can it not be both, perhaps?"

///

The water arrived, it was cool and refreshing. Ryder savoured the feel on his lips and throat. Somehow water tasted even sweeter in a world where the water was literally on fire. He noticed Reyes staring at him, at his lips, his mouth open almost imperceptibly. Ryder felt like he was the one on fire, his heart pounded.

The silence and tension in the room was palpable. Both unable to act, Reyes cleared his throat, attempting to regain his smooth confidence, whether from embarrassment or desire Ryder wasn't sure. "So uh, what can I do for you Ryder. Not that I'm not pleased to see you, because believe me I am. But one always wants something in Kadara—" Reyes' voice trailed off and looked away.

"I've been thinking about you." Ryder's response was automatic and the rawness in his own voice startled him.

"Ryder…"

Ryder glanced over at Reyes, aware of the proximity of their bodies on the couch. He wanted to reach over and touch him, but he needed to try to stay focused. Not think about the corner of his mouth when he smiled, or his dusky skin, or his muscular thighs… 

///

"We came here to get information about remnant ruins, Peebee wants to find an artifact she says will be useful but to be honest, I—" His face felt hot and his earlier burst of confidence had drained away, he struggled to find the right words to say. He paused until Reyes finally looked at him in the eyes again. "—I just wanted an excuse to see you again."

Reyes slid a bit closer. "All that banter and flirting, it is usually mostly play for me but I really enjoy being around you. If you are uncertain about my intentions… well, I wrote in that email that I prefer men, and I meant it. I wanted you to understand I was interested…"

Ryder felt uneasy and frowned, the familiar stirrings of anxiety beginning. "I'm not… " he paused. "That is, gender isn't that simple. I am happy with myself and my body such as it is, but some people get way too hung up on what's under peoples clothes. I don't see myself as a man or a woman, but somewhere in between. It's important to me that's how you see me too, and really that's the only way this will work." He let out a sigh.

Reyes remained silent for a moment, waiting for Ryder to finish. "Of course, I am sorry for presuming.  This new information may require a slight revision in my head... but Ryder, I must say that It doesn't change how I feel in the slightest, everything about you… hmm—" He paused then smiles rakishly, "—is 'delectable'. I've been thinking about you a lot too."

///

Ryder's mind had calmed considerably, feeling relieved and a bit giddy. He forgot why he was so anxious in the first place and was now hyper focused on Reyes' lips again. "Well now that that's out of the way... it's too bad my teammates are sitting downstairs, waiting for me to return to them with a location, otherwise I'd stay here longer…"

Reyes was chuckling again, sliding closer, his hand reaching out to lightly touch Ryder's jawline, savouring the contrast of smooth skin and rough facial hair. "You know, if you did stay a bit longer, I'd like to kiss you, gently… but just for a bit…" his voice dropped to a husky, slightly breathless whisper.

Their noses were almost touching, Reyes' minty and warm breath ghosted against his lips, sending a delightful shiver and spark down his spine. He couldn't help but smile as he leaned into the fluttering feeling, meeting the heady warmth and pleasure of his lips. "Just for a bit" he agreed.


End file.
